Let me be real with you.
I’ve lived with anxiety. I’ve struggled with depression. I went through postpartum depression—and I didn’t get help. I didn’t even feel like I could ask for it.
That’s why I’m writing this. Because too many women—especially Black women—are going through pregnancy and postpartum suffering in silence. Not because we want to. But because we’ve been taught that needing help makes us weak. That talking about mental health is shameful. That asking for medication is dangerous or selfish.
Pregnancy doesn’t protect you from anxiety or depression—it can actually trigger it. Hormonal changes, trauma, lack of support, and unrealistic expectations can all collide during pregnancy. And yet, society still pushes this picture of what we’re supposed to feel: glowing, grateful, and strong.
But what if you’re not?
What if you’re exhausted, scared, and silently breaking?
It’s time we talk about it.
Why Some Women Get Help—And Others Don’t
Let’s name the gap. White women are more often encouraged to prioritize mental health during pregnancy. Therapy, medication, rest—it’s often supported and affirmed.
But for Black women? The pressure to be “strong” is often louder than the permission to be well. We’re told to pray it away. To push through. To smile and be grateful. And when we do speak up, our pain is often ignored or minimized—by family, by friends, and even by medical providers.
This has to change.
Here’s What We Can Do:
- Talk openly about maternal mental health—without shame or fear.
- Support each other—check in on pregnant and new moms with compassion, not judgment.
- Challenge the idea that self-care is selfish—putting yourself first can save your life and give your child the healthiest version of you.
- Demand better care—from healthcare systems, from policy makers, and from those around us.
A Final Truth:
You are not a bad mother if you’re struggling.
You are not weak for needing help.
And you are not alone.
When you are cared for, your baby is cared for.
A happy mom is more likely to have a happy, healthy baby.
So please, put yourself first.
You deserve to feel whole—during pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond.
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